and life goes on...

So the last week has been really crazy. I recently got back from 2 weeks of traveling, which had allowed me to experience most of the "i have absolutely never done that before" stories that I'll have to tell later on in life, but i was really tired and worn out. I suppose I'll start with venice.

In venice, I don't think I did anything a normal tourist wouldn't do, seeing as I walked over the main bridge (Rialto), went to piazza san marco, and went in to the 2 most famous art museums there. Otherwise, I sometimes to no avail looked for restaurants worth eating at (ones that didn't serve hamburgers) and oggled at all the incredibly expensive shops geared toward all kinds of tourists. I tried not to spend to much money since i was going to norway the next weekend, as it happens to be one of the most expensive countries in the world. I did get a mask in venice--it's the mask capital of the world because of the "comedia dell'arte" tradition there, but the one i got is one you hold up in front of your face, simple, red.

The thing that struck me most about venice was the weather. Everyone goes to venice in the summer when it's warm and the sun glitters on the canals, and there are a million other tourists just like yourself. I guess the weather was the constant reminder that I was seeing the city in its off season, and because of that there was construction on everything, flooding of all the canals, and a grey enchanting city instead of a colorful bright one. It appealed to me almost more, but at the same time, the flow of tourists didn't seem any less. In fact, if i were there when there were MORE people, i probably would have hated it, because there was hardly space to move down the tiny tiny streets that creep between the canals. I hate feeling like I'm exploiting a place for it's beauty, going somewhere just to appreciate it for the way it looks. But it's really really hard not to get that feeling in europe. Unless you are european, speak most european languages, and know the history of europe rather intimately, it's difficult to really appreciate each place culturally for where its traditions come from, what all the little signs and customs mean in language and architecture and art, and so on. I just had this feeling that I was sort of ghosting through venice like one of the other millions upon millions of tourists who have spent much more elaborate vacations there. Dont get me wrong, I was glad to go, and I'm glad i got to see what I saw, but sometimes, being a tourist makes me feel...dirty or something. I duno. I just think its important to travel the world with genuine interest, rather than an interest in lengthening the list of things you seen.

So speaking of interest (my interest in the northern lights), the next weekend, only 3 days later, i went to norway. seriously the longest and most complicated day of traveling in my entire life occured on the first day of the trip, in which 4 airports, 4 train stations, 4 buses, and lots of walking were included. I was in tromsø by 10 pm, kind of looking around for northern lights and not seeing much. Fresh-ish ice and snow on the ground sort of meant that there were probably invisible clouds in the sky, so the first night was sort of a no go. The next day, i got up around 8, and it was pitch black out. A sliver of light peeked out from between 2 mountains a way long ways down the channel of water that lines Tromsø, but it didn't really rise into view until 9:45. Then, it only stayed up until 1:40. Seriously, there were only 3 hours of real daylight. At 3:30, i was eating lunch in a restaurant and had the overwhelming sensation that I was in a bar around 11pm/midnight. SO COOL.

During that day, 3 incredible incredible incredible things happened. 1) i crossed the channel next to the city over a cool bridge and took a cable car straight up this HUGE mountain across from the city and took pictures of tromso, glaciers, and the sun for like as long as my freezing fingers could stand it. There was a cabin where the cabin car let you off where you could drink free tea and coffee, and I went in there 3 times to defrost so that I could prolong my picture taking.

The views. were. breathtaking. The whole time i was up there I sort of stopped thinking and just reveled in the awe of what I was seeing, but at a certain point, I realized that I was literally practically on top of the world. For those of you who don't know where tromsø is, you should probably google maps it. It's in the arctic circle at the top of norway. Down in the city, you don't even really notice the mountains on all sides of you, but from the mountain tops, I could see the broken fjords divided by these gorgeous channels of water...everything up there seems so untouched because of all the snow and the white. It seems so primitive, and I sort of felt for the first time in the long time that I was really looking a peice of the earth and actually comprehending it. Like venice, so often its easy to see things and just register them in ur "i have experienced this" file, without really connecting to the experience...and I guess norway was like a slap on the face reminder not to let it slip away

Then the arctic cathedral. It's this crazy awesome church built in the 50s. Its a series of triangles, you might want to google it if ur interested, i took pictures too that should be available on here or facebook... anyway, upon entering the back door of the church, this incredibly modern and crazy virtuostic organ music attacked me, and against the knowledge that the church was deifnitely not open for visiting, i crept in to the chapel and watched this organist with her back turned play an incredible series of organ pieces pretty much like nothing else I've ever heard. It was seemed almost reich-like at times, other times it was almost serial... i cant exactly describe it anyway. So i went to the back of the church where I was just below the organ, but she would have had to get up and look over the balcony to see me sitting in the pews, and I just listened for a bout 20 minutes. talk about an aesthetic experience. fuck, that was cool.

So then, after that, walk back outside to take pictures of the church, and the most RIDICULOUS 1:40 pm sunset you have ever seen was happening over the channel of water that lined the city. Camera happy-ness took over again, and that's why there are a milion pictures of sunsets, some even look liek they have what might be borealis in it, but no such look. they don't happen during day light.

speaking of borealis... ya we didnt see it. BOOOO. i was really really bummed out, but the more i thought about it, the more i realized that 2 days of weather isn't really enough to give aurora borealis a chance to come out. I had no way of predicting the weather and thus no way of knowing whether or not i would see them. In the end, it's still one of the most incredible places i've ever been.

Then I went to oslo. Less eventful but a cool happening city. Also probably would have needed more time there. As a student its hard to take trips that last longer than 4 or 5 days, but oslo was still really cool too. It rained a LOT in oslo that weekend, which sucked since taking pictures with a nicer camera is sort of hard to do (have to hold an umbrella while trying to use zoom, focus, and click? naah)

so this week was my first day of class at the conservatory. It was 7 hours of class with a 2 hour pause for lunch. i was so tired by the end, but also running off the adrenaline from being surrounded by jazz, talk of jazz, and people who care about and like jazz. I played in a combo on piano....embarassing as ALL get out, but it was still worth it I guess since its pointing out all these things to me that I need to improve. I seriously SUCK at comping. someone teach me.

I had harmony and history on friday, followed by my small group rehearsal. THe most exciting thing tho, was meeting for the 3rd time the piano player from my vocal audition. I don't think i've recounted this tale yet here in my blog, but it was i suppose rather exciting when it happened, and then made exciting again on friday when I remet him-i'll explain.

At my audition, the piano player and i recognized eachother. we didn't know why. I couldn't place where I'd seen him or met him before. We went ahead and did the audition, he accompanied me while I sang beautiful love. I left and came back 2 days later to take my theory placement test. In the meantime, I realized that I'd met him at a jam session I'd been to in Bologna one night, where I was the only person waiting in the audience for about an hour before I decided to leave because the music hadn't started. Teo (this piano player) was there, and approached me to apologize for the wait and to invite me to come sit with the musicians who were also awaiting an audience. I ate food and drank beer with them till I decided to leave. So when we remet before my theory exam, I told him where we'd met and he got really excited and asked me if I wanted to swap numbers with him because he wanted to practice his english since his career is expanding in the states (he'll probably be playing more often on that side of the atlantic, especially in boston, soon!) and he also mentioned, quite nonchallantly, that I should come to a show of his and sing with his band. keep in mind this was before acceptances, so i pretty much lost it when I heard him say that he thought i was good and invited me to sing. Afterwards, though, nothing really happened, but i knew he was going to the states to berkelee college of music for some concerts and master classes, so I just let it be and kind of forgot about it. But then, on friday, I saw him coming out of his classroom as I was heading to my history class. He greeted me and said hey what are you doing on sunday, to which I replied nothing, and he proceded to invite me, again, to perform with him, but this time with a date, location and time. sunday is today...so of course I'm freaking out. but the best part is yet to come...

So i'm online looking for directions to this bar when I finally find the site. I took a look at the band just to see the other players names when i see the name "Julius Pastorius"...but that could just be a coincidence right? no connection to THE pastorius (amazingly awesome and famous bassist who did incredible things for the bass, not just in jazz but in music in general) then i see an italian subtitle to the picture of the drummer that says "son of jaco pastorius ft. laderdale, florida" and i started DYING inside. what in the HECK AND THE FUCK is teo ciavarello (this piano player) doing asking me to perform with jaco pastorius' son??? Teo himself is already so far out of my league, and now i'm not really sure i'm gonna make it through even just one song with these cats. Seriously, the inferiority is eating me alive. I'm just gonna pretend like i'm not scared, get up there, and sing. fuck it. I'm singing something simple like my funny valentine anyway, i dont want to risk messing up to much....

SO this whole weekend, I've been losing it. not just because of this concert, but this conservatory thing has really got me confused, just in general. I never know if i should sort of just throw myself at piano, submerge myself in it and never come out, or something else... i guess i've just been doing the former, forgetting about everything and trying to learn, because for the things that I've been gettign asked to do lately, i feel like i'm no where near prepared...ever.... how do u deal with that? I dont want to disappoint these people...

So anyway, so much other stuff is always happening, i'm still working, still studying, reading, writing most of the time, still freaking out about music and never doing enough about it.. blah.

December is almost here. that's a whole other thing. I'm going to a thanksgiving dinner at a professional chef's house. ya thats good for now.