where am i, again?

So, a few weeks ago, i'd just gotten back from Norway, one of the coolest and farthest-out-there things i've ever done. And when I came back, there were more average daily life things to tend to here in Italy, like thanksgiving dinners, finances, music, meeting parents, cooking, you know the norm. It's been about 3 weeks now, maybe 4, since I've been back, and I haven't left italy since, or really even bologna (except day trip to florence). i started to notice in the last few days a sense of restlessness coming over me because I hadn't moved around enough, and then i realized I'M IN ITALY.

I've been here for 4 months, and now that it's december, most of the other students are going back to the states for good. Granted, I'm not super close with most of them, but the realization that the makeup of the group is about to completely change except for 4 girls is pretty strange for a few reasons. 1-the students who about to leave are at the end. This is their last week of being abroad. I'm sure a wealth of feelings of nostalgia, finality, and readiness to go home has hit or is about to hit them. but the girls who remain and I, I mean, at least I feel that same nostalgia, finality, and missing home a bit. The difference is that for me there is no end in sight. In fact, when am I really going to get to go home? Being in my apartment in bologna is the closest thing I've felt to being settled since fall semester of Wellesley last year, and even then, I always had the haunting prospect of living in italy for a year in the back of my mind. But i guess that's the point-I don't really feel like I'm "abroad" anymore. I'm not phased by not understanding all the italian around me, or by the crazy bus drivers, or by expensive italian designer labels everywhere, or by small dogs wearing sweaters in women's purses, or by strange cultural breakfast customs, or by roommates who have rather high cooking/cleaning expectation(this is good for me, as many of u probably can imagine) or by the lack of avocados, cheese variety, toasters, quality juice, vegetarian like food, and countless other food differences, or by having classes in italian, or by the overwhelming amount of history that's all around me in this country, or by the INTENSE YELLING VOICES many italians use to communicate every single emotion (happiness, sadness, anger, apathy) or by the vespas that outnumber the cars, or by the incredible architecture, or by the crazy business hours of all the stores i NEED to go to the most...and the list goes on. i still miss some of those things (mostly juice and avovados lately) but otherwise, i can live

I just feel like I live here. I can get almost everything I need on my own, without too many linguistic problems. If i need to know specific procedures for how to ask something or buy something (for instance some stores you weigh the vegetables yourself, grab the sticker printed with barcode and price, and then go to register, some stores they weigh it for you at the register, you just have to look around for the weigh machine or watch someone else get vegetables before you get your own. It took me like 3 times at 2 different stores to remember which one was which-and the cashiers get so annoyed when they have to walk to the vegetables and do it for you-i felt like i could see them whispering "damn foreigner"...) I can just ask any of the italians I know pretty well. I'm attending two (technically 3, including my study abroad program office, but i don't take courses there) universities in the same city, one of which was a first time trial run experiment (the conservatory-i'm the first foreigner they've had study there for just one year, as an exchange student-otherwise germans and other people come to live and study for 3 years, but i cant, clearly :-/)

what i'm getting at is, the fact that about 20 people i've met in the last 3 to 4 months are moving back to states to finish 3 (or 1 in pscill's case) semesters of school is making me realize just how long I've been here and how accustomed I've become. I started getting stir-crazy maybe because I'd gotten used to hopping up and down the country to see new things on a sort of frequent basis (once a month) and now I'm actually really glad to have a place where I can be for a month at a time without *having* to leave at all, and it's just strange and incredible that right now that place happens to be in Italy for me.

Not to mention the prospect of traveling for 2 weeks (almost 3) straight in december. shit! i'm gonna be tired when i get back.

So i had my last day of conservatory class for this semester yesterday. it's crazy because out of 4 weeks of classes at the conservatory this semester I've only had class on 3 days, even though that totaled to 15.5 hours of class. I even missed the first week when I was in norway, and there were 5 hours of class that week. I actually really like how I don't have to be there that much, but I also feel like I might improve faster if the community interacted with itself more. My combo professor is the funniest man alive. Yesterday he made me "head of class" while he went downstairs to get something (no reason to do that, everyone in the room was like 25 except me-maybe thats why he did it? to be ironic? i speak the language the least and am the youngest?) and he continually pointed out how all the guys in the room were "incapace" or incapable compared to me, and how i smelt good and the guys smelled like hogs. It was funny mostly cuz it was such a new experience, having one on one interaction with italian adults, expecially in a musical setting.

my small group/combo (call it what u will) is made up of most of the first years who scored the highest on their auditions. we're not that good all together, and we all have different problems that keep us from gelling (can we talk about how i can't really comp or play chords with my left hand at all, or solo for shit on piano-i guess that why i signed up for this, so it would kick my ass and make me play better..... boo) but in any event, the conservatory is good, its just nerve racking and exhausting every time i go, because i can't fuck up and misunderstand when people talk to me, i've got to be quick on my feet.

I'm in Bologna till june 26th then in Vermont till august 14th-i guess that's the answer...